Let’s face it, life can be hard and that’s universally true for all of us. Remembering this truth helps us be more compassionate. And learn how to build compassion towards others.
What Does It Mean to Have Compassion?
This is one of those terms that’s actually worth taking a minute to review the definition. So, here it is:
Compassion: a sensitivity to suffering, a feeling of deep sympathy for another who is suffering, and the desire to try and prevent or ease the suffering of others.
How to Build Compassion Towards Others
It is the Dalai Lama that said, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
So how can we practice being more compassionate in our lives? Think of it as a skill. And like any skill, we get better at it the more we practice it.
Here are three ways to develop the skill:
- Practice compassion for loved ones
- Build compassion for strangers
- Grow compassion for adversaries
Practice Compassion for Loved Ones
It’s easy to be compassionate toward our loved ones who are suffering. Take a moment and recall a specific example where you had compassion for someone you love, who was experiencing a moment or situation of suffering. Hold that example. Keep it at the forefront of your mind. This is exercising your compassion muscle.
Build Compassion for Strangers
Yes, we are naturally more inclined to show it to the people that we love. So, let’s stretch our compassion muscle and build it for strangers.
How Do We Become More Compassionate Toward Others? By Seeking Common Ground
When we actively try to see things we have in common with other people, inevitably we feel more like them. When we build this sense of likeness and commonality, it’s easier to be more compassionate toward another person’s suffering. Even if you don’t have direct experience with their situation, when you identify common ground with another person, it helps develop it for that person.
Grow Compassion for Adversaries
You may have thought it was a challenge to learn to have compassion for a stranger. But now we’re going to grow our compassion muscle and develop it for our foes.
Yes, this is difficult to do and will elevate your emotional intelligence if you can master it.
Maybe it’s that one neighbor you’ve had words with, or maybe it’s a coworker you don’t get along with, or maybe it’s a family member that you have history with. When you can learn to be compassionate toward someone that is not a loved one, and is not a stranger, but someone that you actually don’t get along with, you achieve a higher level of it. And ultimately, self-growth and self-happiness.
What Does Compassion Look Like?
There are endless ways to alleviate the suffering of others, but here is a list of some useful tools you can use to help you exercise being compassionate:
- Listen
- Make eye contact
- Slow down
Show Yourself a Little Compassion Too
If you’re struggling to find compassion with yourself or others, Dr. Alyx can guide you through this process. Dr. Alyx MacTernan offers secure online counseling sessions for clients wanting to learn to grow and develop more compassion. Elemental Mental Health offers online mental health counseling services to residents of California, Georgia, Florida, and Texas. Fill out the website contact form to learn more.