But how exactly do you do that? Here are two fundamental ways that you can teach people how to treat you:
Treat Yourself with Respect
Unlearn negative self-talk. Maybe it comes out when you make a mistake at work. Maybe it’s when you see your reflection in a window. Or maybe it’s when you lose a game.
Whenever negative self-talk happens, flip the script and practice reframing these moments. For example, if you catch yourself saying you did something stupid, instead say, that was a learning opportunity. Or ask yourself, how could I have done better? Practice using the same gentle language with yourself that you use with loved ones and colleagues.
When you don’t tolerate disrespectful thoughts or words from yourself, you send a message to other people that you won’t tolerate negative talk from them either.
Treat Yourself with Love
If you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you? There are many ways to love yourself, but we’re going to focus on loving yourself by caring for yourself.
Care for your physical health, exercise, eat healthy and avoid risky behavior. Care for your mental health, mediate, journal, watch your favorite movie or read your favorite book — for the tenth time.
Taking care of you, is also loving you. And when you love and care for yourself, you are literally showing others how to love and care for you.
Define Your Own Moral Code
It’s hard for others to know what you value if you don’t stand up for your own beliefs.
By not defining your own morals, you leave yourself at jeopardy of just making it up as you go, or worse, following another’s moral code. Take a moment to yourself and determine your moral code. Write it down. And follow it. These are your rules for your life. When you follow your own moral code, people will respect you for this, even if their morals are different than yours.
We All Deserve to Be Treated with Respect and Love and It All Starts with You
If you would like to explore more ways to practice self-love and self-respect, consider working with Dr. Alyx MacTernan
Dr. Alyx offers secure online counseling sessions to residents of California, Georgia, Florida, and Texas. Fill out the website contact form to learn more.